Beer, Cigarettes and a Can of Cat Food

I've been getting drunk almost every single night for most of August and September. After work I would go to the Mayfair Market down the road from me and by a six-pack of beer, a pack of cigarettes and a can of cat food. The can of cat food is to entice my kitties into the bedroom, where I close them in. I don't want to smoke in front of them, and I blow a fan out the window. (But I still feel like a "bad daddy.")

Considering all of this costs me about $15-$20 a pop, especially since I would frequently jaunt down to my local mini-mart for another 32-40 oz. to "top me off," it shouldn't be any wonder that I'm completely broke. (If you do the math, my excesses are costing me anywhere from $450-$600 a month.) I owe my father a significant amount of money, and I haven't made my monthly payment to him for June, July or August. Now I'm not sure how I'm going to swing my September payment (even though it is now October). I'm also a couple of months behind on my phone and utilities. And frankly, I'm not sure how I'm going to manage.

Star System

On the plus side, I have entered into a new phase of sobriety and asceticism, a new period of Lent, as it were. Since my personal shortcomings seem to limit me between Mardi Gras and Lent, I should do as my sister recommends and "Go for Lent!" I've come up with a novel idea using my "Day of the Dead" calendar and some foil stars. Basically, I put a star on the calendar day for each of the following:

• Red Star=No sex (with another person)
• Blue Star=No drugs (not even caffeine)
• Green Star=No alcohol
• Silver Star=Went to the gym
• Gold Star=Went to church

The red, blue and green stars are the "core" ones that I want to get every day. The silver and gold ones are extras to signify other positive behaviors. I got my first silver today, and I am on day twelve of straight red-blue-greens. (Plus a couple of golds in there, too.) It's absurd, but the way my mind works, the thought of not getting all of my core stars and having a gap on my calendar is more compelling at keeping me abstinent than the vague concept of "I shouldn't be doing these things because they are self-defeating and harmful." My friend commented that if the same system he and his wife use to reward their five year old for "dry" nights works for me, then so be it. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep it up. I'll keep you informed.